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In the queer anthem “That’s What I Want,” he sings, “Need a boy who can cuddle with me all night/ Keep me warm, love me long, be my sunlight,” confessing plainly on the chorus that “I want someone to love me.” The inclusion of a Gospel choir in the song’s music video further highlights the deep intertwining of his gay identity with his Christian upbringing. The revelations in “Sun Goes Down” make the yearning for love that Lil Nas X expresses in other songs on the album all the more poignant and powerful. In “Sun Goes Down,” he sings: “These gay thoughts would always haunt me/ I prayed God would take it from me/ It’s hard for you when you’re fightin’/ And nobody knows it when you’re silent.” The song then delves into the suicidal ideation he faced while struggling with his gay identity and Christian upbringing the chorus mourns, “Don’t wanna lie, I don’t want a life/ Send me a gun and I’ll see the sun.” community who grew up religious, he at first saw being gay as a test from God.
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This Christian background largely shaped Lil Nas X’s early struggle with his gay identity like many in the L.G.B.T. Nas’s father is a gospel singer, and he grew up attending church on Sundays. Those who dismiss him need to listen to it.īut beyond the album’s lyrical excellence and musical range, “Montero” also draws us into a profound meditation on Lil Nas X’s experiences as a Black gay man who grew up Christian in the South.
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Lil Nas recently released his first full length album, “Montero,” a fusion of hip hop and electro pop filled with raw, introspective tracks. It starts with upbeat songs with catchy hooks and strong beats, like the triumphant and danceable “Dolla Sign Slime.” Halfway through the album it pivots to a darker and more reflective tone, with “Tales of Dominica” slowing into a powerful meditation on family dysfunction and “Life After Salem” crescendoing desperately into raw, rock ballad-style vocals about an abusive relationship: “Get yourself an Adderall/ Then throw me up against the wall/ And kick me when I have to crawl/ Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all.” Those who dismiss him need to listen to it.įirst, “Montero” has been hailed as a rare “no-skip” album, with every track on the record delivering musically and lyrically. He recently released his first full length album, “Montero,” a fusion of hip hop and electro pop filled with dance anthems and raw, introspective tracks.
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The so-called “Satan video”-and the conservative religious backlash it inspired-is the extent of what many people know about Lil Nas X, but the artist and his work deserve better. After releasing the music video for his hit song “Montero (Call Me by Your Name),” featuring an infamous scene in which he pole dances into hell to give Satan a lap dance, Lil Nas X became the target of Twitter vitriol from everyone from Fox News to the governor of South Dakota. (For comparison, Post Malone and Lady Gaga have never had a song make it past 11.)īut last summer, the gay pop star found himself in the middle of an internet storm. The artist’s smash hit “Old Town Road” is the top certified single of all time, going platinum-having a million downloads, streams or purchases-a record-breaking 15 times. Pop star Lil Nas X is no stranger to going viral.